| so !@#$ing busy |
[Sep. 12th, 2005|09:03 pm] |
Woo. Tisch School of the Arts is to intense. Tuesdays/Thursdays/Fridays I have my studio 9-6. Add to this that each my 9 separate studio classes has about 30 minutes worth of homework a night (in the form of drills/technical things to practice). Add to this my two other classes and you have one burnt out william. I had 5 free hours this weekend. It was so sad. One of my suitemates is a hardcore viola player who has a schedule akin to mine. We talked about the lack of performing jobs and stuff today. He's really cool. Lol. Looks like I finally got my wish to be completely dedicated without any time for friends. 4 Years of this better make me competitive in the acting world or else i'm just goign to die. Funnily enough I'm having the greatest time of my life. (well besides the random fire alarms going off at 7:30 in the morning). Well I wanted to post something longer...but i'd better get to bed...I have to wake up at 7 tomorrow so I can practice singing/sensory work before I go to studio. Wish me Luck.
Living a Dream |
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| sry guys cynicism isn't my fashion...but I might as well try |
[May. 7th, 2005|08:35 pm] |
Here's an extended metaphor for my life
I am in a room full of shit OK ... room poo...up and down everywhere ok so I have two options...let the smell kill me...or for some reason eating the shit will save me ... and for some reason I value this existence enough to eat the shit...now the eating part...is horrible... ok so I'm eating shit...with an end in sight (i.e. I empty the room with it) after a while I realize that I have to go to the bathroom... the paradox then hits me... I eat this shit... my body processes it into more shit from the original shit which I already ate (i.e. dealt with) that I now have to deal with again...sometimes this reshit is smaller...sometimes it is bigger...
Now one might ask why I do this... in the shit there are a few...let us say ...peanuts...and along with the shit every once in a while I get a peanut... and I do love it so...and I chew it and enjoy it so much it seems to make the shit worth it...in fact sometimes I find so many peanuts in a row that I almost forget about the shit altogether...but it's still there and what is worse the peanuts eventually become shit...except for little parts which my body can't digest which I find later and enjoy again...but the problem is the peanut pieces get smaller and smaller as I chew them and more and more becomes indistinguishably shit... WOW... let me know if anyone else finds themselves in a similar situation...
Eating shit...hope a peanut keeps me going
Willy Kean |
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| WOOOO |
[Mar. 31st, 2005|06:42 pm] |
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I made it into NYU Tisch. Everything I've done since basically the sixth grade has been leading to this one goal....and it happened....ppl ...dreams really do come true....I now have the opportunity were if I work hard enough I have an 100% chance of realizing my acting dream....I love the world and I love you all |
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| whistle ....cough ...mmm |
[Mar. 25th, 2005|07:55 pm] |
Wow its been a while. Haven't talked to anyone in memphis for like 3 weeks. O and I was back reading peoples posts...I would love to join in the camping if possible...well as a stranger of course. Miss you guys a lot, and I think I'm going to come there. I know I'm always shady with this whole thing...but my plan and my parents always differ....so updates...um that ameri girl way back in my posts and I started going out...two months later she breaks up with me...w00t...now its spring break and all my friends are in England, Spain...or in Memphis having forgotten (not being bitchy...no offence but I go through periods where I forget...I wonder if I am still remembered..hmm lol) ...this has been the loneliest spring break ever. They say for your brain to be happy you need 7 acceptable touches every day ... I haven't had human contact in 10 days and I've only talked to nonparents 2 times in that period. WOOOOOOO PITY TRIP. Guess I should just be a happy leprauchaun again cause considering how I've stayed out of everyone's lives for so long I don't have a right to come back and make ppl sad. I know everyone has their own problems ...I'd like to hear about them too...(well more in depth than just live journal posts if anyone wants to anonymously vent...you know what no ...I'm going to start joining the replying to post party...maybe...even though I'm WAYYYYY too far out of the know)...I really miss cranium night... I hope you guys still do that...those were good times...WEll my random stream of consciousness ended...but I'm going to try to continue it regularly...maybe this time it'll work
disillusioned actor ... a far way from home |
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| WOOOOOO I'm back baby |
[Feb. 25th, 2005|09:13 am] |
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Ok guys its been forever but i'm starting to feel homesick. The other day my teacher was like if we move to say ...Tennessee ...He said TN of all the states he could have picked. Also I saw this girl in the gym that looks exactly like Jessica. It was weird. O by the way I think that new ....well it probably isn't that new picture on your livejournal is really flattering. O and Emi more emails are on their way I just have a big college audition my last (this is the last) and I've been really overworked this week (writing this during my free. I also really want to come see everyone ...I could probably come during my spring break considering how currently I'm just going to sit alone in our condo while my brother hangs with his friends at my house. Well, poo I have to go...but I think I'm actually going to continue posting this time. .....portfolios due today..... |
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| ARG |
[Dec. 7th, 2004|07:15 pm] |
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Well here it comes once again my bimonthly passionate incomprehensible livejournal post. I was going to sorta of write one earlier and after a recent fight I definetly have to spill it all. OK so I was talking to my friend keri woowoo and we were talking blah blah and we get towards the end of the conversation and she's like well good luck with your life (in a way like ...meh we don't talk much anymore) and so I respond I'm always the one the calls you and if you would start calling me more we'd have a better friendship. She responds by saying she calls me just as much as I call her. I had to remind her that our current conversation was initiated by me that a week ago I called her and she was like I'll call you back later (she didn't call then the next day tried to pass it off like she called when my phone was off but I caught her in the lie because I left my phone on on purpose) also about the other like 3 times she promised to call me back later and never did. You know if it was just one person that did this to me I'd be find but it seems like everyone does. Whether you like it or admit it or not jessica you did it too. I always had to start the conversation and if you dont take this as true think about that day I called you 17 time without being responded to or all the times me start sporadic mini friendships online (like 4 of the 5 times I IMed you first). Add to this all my friends tend to slowly whither because I just can't keep starting the conversation it seems almost never does anyone want to start one with me (and please don't give me a pity start conversation that'd just depress me more) and so we move on to the big topic Ameri. We've been going through the conversation of what means more words or actions. She says words. I say action. Well she also always says (and jessica you can probably sympathize with this) that I have no feelings and only care about acting so she of course cares more about me than I do her. But let us look at the evidence. There was one day where there were 3 opportunities for us to hang out but all failed because she didn't want to. Or the fact that for the past 2 months I've been a little bitch to my phone keeping it within hearing distance or on at all times so I wouldn't miss a call. ..... O wait of course she loves me more of course the person I can never get in touch with ...who falls asleep when they promised to call me back after they finished cleaning their room (leaves their phone downstairs inadvertedly where they can't here it) and sometimes even admits to ignoring my calls IGNORING MY !@#$ING CALLS WTF. And if it was just once or even like ten times I'd be overreacting to post this but it seems to me that almost every person I call friend tends to do this to me and that ...whatever...I realize I do this to others as well...blowing off certain conversations and such...but if anyone ever has the love to call me I always talk to them no matter what....I still have more issues to deal with but not in veiw of all those lovely ppl who I call my friends ....I do love you all ...I'm just !@#$ed up .... |
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[Sep. 27th, 2004|06:33 pm] |
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WHOOOOHOOOO got my old happiness back. Can't really describe how I know just like I was passing myself in my mirror today and instead of giving myself my usual narcistic stare (lol) I like joked with myself and just sat there like laughing for a good half hour ...it was good. But things don't always last that long. Ameri called wanting me to ask Leila to homecoming. See the thing is I love Leila we're good buds but I really hadn't planned on going to homecoming at all. I know its the loser boohoo crybaby thing to do but its like I know it'll be awkward and fun but the awkwardness will overshadow the fun. Its like I went freshman and sophomore year in memphis were most ppl take their others to these big dances so they can screw afterwards and that impression always stuck in my mind (the taking of one's significant others instead of casual friends not the screwing). And I've already had two experiences like this were I was like well it could be fun and I swallowed pride and the awkwardness took it out. Prom both Sophomore and Junior year. But the thing is this is my last homecoming and I really don't want Leila to have to go by herself cause I know how sad that concept it (wow it really sucks). I don't know what I'm going to do. Like usual I'll probably cave and go with the awkward cause I can't stick my my indecisive decisions. O well hopefully cross country will go so late that it makes my decision for me. See the thing is all those (well only two savannians would be reading this ameri (don't be mad at me) and keri) I know it'll be fun but I don't like being responsible for another person. Like when it was me and jessica it was fine cause we were going out but just another person who isn't really like a good good friend ...its just awkward. I dont know mayhaps I'm just looking for excuses but I really did want to go stag. Totally stag for once. my stagness was taken away from me last year at prom. But I know thatif I go stag now ameri will never forgive (and despite what she may think I really don't want her to be mad at me). I just want to have the freedom ofbeing able to escape whenever I feel like it without any strings attached. Thats what I think I need to be able to have fun...whoa goodnight |
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| ... |
[Aug. 25th, 2004|05:48 pm] |
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Things. Happening. I was so happier earlier today when I was listening to my josh kelly CD then all of a sudden I started to think about somethign can't remember what it was then I was like you know what william you aren't really sad and I perked right up. The thing is am I really happy or did I just repress something. I've been sorta (not really) going back to what ameri and jessica said to me about not having emotions but then again I agree with my previous decision that it doesn't matter if its fake happy or real happy if I can't tell the difference. Well I'm tired and I need to run more and all my grades are going down but I'm happy ... I swear lol |
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| WOW |
[Aug. 6th, 2004|09:19 am] |
Woke up from coming home (well to my house ... a sad point I always bring up with myself as to which of the two is home but). WOW, WOW. Got there had a great time. Didn't get to see Chelsea :(. It was, however, awesome. Got to meet Andrew Kay the greatest man ever to live. Got to hang out with Emi wow that was such a fun day...sorry about any awkwardness but I really did have an extroadinary time...lol especially at the play wow that was cheesy and you've officially made me fall in love with wicked (popular and wonderful my two favorite songs) and lol I ran into her unexpectedly at the vermonster challenge (I always run into Emi unexpectedly ....this was like the 2000 time). Anyways then there was Natalie and Andrew who were wonderful friends especially when the Jster was ....well we don't know exactly lol but not there. And finally of course there was Jessica herself. Wow that was wonderful (I actually asked my mom if I could move back like finally asking her in a way where it seemed like I really wanted to and I almost think she was bluffing when she offered that to me cause she was like .....well I really don't want to be apart from your father ...but lol that woman maybe I could transfer halfway into the year or something)...wow haven't had a new paragraph in a while ..
O MY BLANKET that I got back smells like Jessica's house so I had the hardest time going to sleep with it last night ....eventually had to put it at the foot of my bed but wow I'm not going to wash that thing for some time ... lol. I will post more about all of it later ...g2g |
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| AHH |
[Aug. 1st, 2004|05:52 pm] |
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EMI: you need to read this in time... I think I may still have your house number but I'm not sure....also I'm sure that I don't have your cell... please post or Email them so I can contact you so we can hang out... I'm going to Email you as well too all my other peeps in memphis I can't wait |
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| hey budderoos |
[Jul. 30th, 2004|09:31 pm] |
OK to start off if none of you here from me again its cause of the tuna. It was kinda old...but I was hungry...so if I'm not alive in 24 hours my raging gluttony did me in lol. Its so weird thinking I'm going to go back to memphis. I mean I only get like 3 days ...sorry guys I don't want to cause the awkwardness of rooming arrangments...plus my mom would have to cancel the old tickets and such. So instead I've simply planned to come back more often this year. I think I only came back like 3 times in the last year....but then again I wasn't able to foresee what the environment was like...from what I hear though lol things have changed in interesting ways.
Well this is the week that will start the rest of my life. I say that to myself just about everyday almost, but then again I'm a living breathing epitome of modern existencialism. But this time I know it will be the week cause ...well going back to memphis finally facing my old new past....savannah was my first past and now its my present and well interesting ... then after that is my court date...then after that school again. Interestingly enough my visit works out perfectly. Ok guys here is what I'm thinking.
I get in August second about 6:00, and I had sorta promised two ppl that they could pick me up from the airport. Unfortunately, I have to break both promises cause of an unforeseen lucky event. I didn't think I'd be able to see Chelsea during my visit cause she leaves for school like ...well august 2nd but luckily she's goign to stay that night so we can hang before she leaves. ....movie time I'll finish this later |
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| YEA |
[Jul. 28th, 2004|09:30 pm] |
HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP!!!!! MY MEMPHIS FRIENDS CALLED TODAY. O BOY O BOY O BOY O BOY. I'm so happy. I'm finally going there. WOW they made me so happy. WOW I haven't talked to them in a long time. Like when Jessica was like its me Jessica...I knew it when she said hello before she had to tell me who it was and for some reason I didn't find it weird at all that she'd be calling. If just felt in sync with the world and my life. WHOOOOO got to talk to Andrew Kay finally. Yippee.
I realized why I was so in love with that girl (Jess). Kinda weird how now that we aren't together I feel the love again. Her light insults were only funny and nonely injuring...forgot how fun she was (during all the random ARG you're in savannah and you posted this about me fights) (p.s. don't worry I won't try to rekindle past flames ;) ) WOW August 2nd is the date I go there. Ameri still won't talk to me ... please call me ... And I'm going to get to see Emi. This is probably going to be one of the best weeks of my life.....well if Ameri would call (But hey my Memphis friends did that for her so YEAH MEMPHIS FRIENDS...lol I can't believe leigh was in the room the whole time ...she was always sorta the quite one.....well not usually when Jessica is around ....)
Memory: I would just like everyone reading this to share in this golden memory. The first time I ever went to Jessica's house and we were still sorta friends I got stuck in her bathroom and had to ask for assistence to get out. Embarrassing yes. Utterly hilarious now that it is over. Of course.
Wow I'm tempted to get my mom to move me back. Erg. It's still not too late. hmm if my mom rented an apartment when we got there on the 2nd, then I could register for Houston next year...eh I couldn't do that to my mom and dad .... but it makes one think .... a lot ......HOMESICK.
I only get 3 days though.....will try to change this and get mom to make me go home later...but then I'll need a place to crash and well I'm not seeing a crashing situation that wouldn't be awkward. AND I'M GOING TO MISS MARTIN if I don't stay longer cause apparently he's somewhere else. Didn't really know you buddy, but you seemed like a pretty smooth cucumber if you know what I mean ...??!!.?!?!;:* I think I'm going to go with that instinct that I was talking about on my private post (hehehe you can't read it hehehe) and swear off love for a while. I'm going to be the cool everybody's friend without any sexual tension guy from now till college. Time to post this biach |
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| perfect ....not so perfect day |
[Jul. 21st, 2004|01:38 pm] |
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For those of you who knew my plan last summer ...with the whole studying ordeal lol...well I had a similar plan this summer and today for the first time ever in eitehr summer I did everything I wanted to do for the amount of time I wanted to do it for. Woke up 15 (sorry have to lick the peanut butter off my fingers)...ok mile bikeride... then straight into a piano/guitar session add a run a workout acting and more music and you have my first perfect day...but really I'm not that happy about it ....surprising. I really miss memphis and I'm plannign to go back the week of august 3rd. Also AP scores came in ... and my biology teacher was more proud of my scores than my parents (she had asked us to call her when we got our scores...I'm not having an affair or anything of the such). Also I find myself getting lonelier and lonelier. I mean I haven't been unlonely since well ... that girl was still with me. O everyone go see the Notebook it made me bawl like a little baby and it took Moulin Rouge's spot on my top 5 currently I am Sam, Momento, The Notebook, Finding Nemo, and Almighty Bruce. I've decided to actually start posting regularly I think. I've always prided myself as a semi-psychoanalyst ...boy has that self-title gotten me into too much trouble... so I feel this could be medicinal. I feel like a menopausal woman. Sounds strange but every cute face I see reminds me that my clock is running out. Hard to describe and I don't quite mean it like the analogy would sound. But to quote Rufus Wainwright life's a game and true love is a trophy. I sooooo want to win ....but odds are I;ll fail miserably. I beginning to worry if when I think I love if its real or if its me forcing it on myself cause I want to win too bad... like cheating lol. Don't worry I'm not saying I didn't/don't love you jess and I take back that regretful comment posted I think two posts ago. I think I've decided to stop searching and making moves for love. I'm just going to be a all-friend with no predispositions towards any. Maybe I'll move to the Netherlands where the maternal environment has it where society believes that women should make all the moves...that'd be loverly. And for all those who doubt the authenticity of any feelings I may ever have... I do... lol ... I'm just weird ... |
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| lalala |
[Jun. 14th, 2004|05:32 am] |
| How to make a william |
Ingredients:
1 part intelligence
1 part silliness
1 part leadership |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom |
Personality cocktailFrom Go-Quiz.com| How to make a triplethreat3 |
Ingredients:
1 part success
1 part crazyiness
1 part joy |
Method:
Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Serve with a slice of sadness and a pinch of salt. Yum! |
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| rad the post before this first this is a sidenote to it |
[Jun. 9th, 2004|11:12 am] |
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I forgot to mention the fact that I can't ever reach any of my friends. I mean most of the time i either don't have time to talk to the memphians or they have their away message on for like 9 hours straight lol. OK but yeah the fact that I can't ever reach my friends and they really don't feel like calling me back adds to the loneliness. Not really a big deal and I don't really mind it. I said something like this 2 posts ago but it wasn't anything like put out there. Honestly I needed this taste of...well just rad two posts ago .... Still praying I don't die for the one before this one ...sigh |
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| :breath: here goes nothing |
[Jun. 9th, 2004|11:04 am] |
Ok. Holy crap I get ¾ of the way through this little post and my computer freezes making me start all over. Not a good sign, but I think its still time to tempt the Fates and see what my cards turn out to be. Ok here goes. This whole deal began way back when I think I’d say about … well kindergarten lol (I know …name of them who knows who they are here…I said it began this summer and I thought I had conquered it and its just a reoccurrence). This Post however can be attributed to a conversation in which the word fake came up with my name attached to it (I don’t know why I should take to heart this coming from a friend who thinks all black ppl are lazy …I still love you just had to share that for the Memphians… but I did cause I mean I don’t ever share much with my friends and the fact is lately I’m beginning to wonder how good of a friend I am … I mean look at the post below this one and I’m sure there is going to be a least two ppl that read this and are like HA I knew he was a bad friend and I tried to tell him…. Well if its any conselation prize I don’t ever mean to be its just I’ve had some weird times in the past). The truth is I can’t be fake cause I don’t really know who I am. I only really know who I want to be and so here it is even though I’m reluctant and have always been reluctant to tell ( and the fact is I will always keep some of it censured but eh take what you can get eh). In fact, any time I’ve done something like this its come back to bite me in the face but as I said I need some risk in my life and no matter what it will end up exciting and dramatic I’m sure (sorry Andrew K for all the grammar errors lol but eh ). Ok the one big neverending problem is that I never seem to be who I want to be ( I mean in the last 2 days I’ve finally achieve doing what I asserted would be the REAL me that I wanted to be and am striving to achieve so things are looking). The guy I want to be being loving, acting, singing, sort of fit, and has his own system of beliefs/values (my system but eh eh eh). And all my unhappy comes when I don’t fulfill one of these areas (a complication arises when I don’t exactly know what decision fits in and which fits out (some areas are still a little gray but I’m working it out) SO anyways. The thing is every time I do something against this I’m like HEY that wasn’t me but then I have to think in the past it was me and I did something against the ME that I want to be meaning maybe that’s not the me I want to be but maybe something else is. But no that’s the me I want to be and I have to scold that other self ( wow I seem like a basket case but bear with me if you will). And I know at times ppl will always do things they don’t or didn’t intend to do, but hopefully they won’t take it to the extremes I do. Turns out that my mother says I have slight OCD Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (now usually when someone breaks out a term like that ppl are like WOW FREAK HOLD UP) but trust me its normal (I hope I hope I hope ….actually everyone is OCD to some extent I just tend to be a little be further into the pool) For an example take that day when I called jessica’s phone 18 times….ah good times. Well anyways lately I’ve been feeling lonely but I mean really it’s my own fault. Here’s the deal ok if you wish to read further at this point you have to promise me that A. you won’t get mad at anything I say even if its about you personally (wow anything with a clause like that in it has to be bad ….I’m gonna regret this) B. Don’t take any of this too seriously cause trust me once I get all this out I can continue being the happy carefree me I always wanted to be and this time I won’t ever stop. C. I’m just trying to get truths out there and I really don’t judge I swear and ugh well anyways here goes …
1. Natalie- I started to wonder after one of my last visits to Memphis when me and Natalie had one hell of a time in her care (wink wink ) lol no just listening to music and driving around if I should have gone out with her instead of Jessica (wow Jessica is going to kill me for this). And truthfully I do think it would have lasted a lot longer and better between the two of us. Natalie I love who you are. The truth of this longer and better statement comes directly from the Andrew Kay Theory. Andrew Kay is the new me of the group and I honestly believe you two could make it to marriage and while on some level this makes me sad and regretful I’m extremely happy guys and I say stick to it.
2. Keri- I found a similar spark of crazy energy in Keri down here. But the fact is I’m way too awkward in savannah. I think our destiny may be just to end up friends. The thing is now that I’ve in some form or fashion admitted that I’ve liked her (and O god ppl take liking someone down here way to seriously … for the record when I say I like someone its that I see extreme compatibility with a little emotional stuff in there but I mean I can easily live without anyone I say that I do. I’m not like well let’s call him O who said that he (yes he) had to have me and that he loved me and all this stuff. I don’t know her or anyone else to say I love them to any extremely deep 60 year lasting way. I just see possibility. (and wow I hate to do this to you considering how D is planning on doing something similar today but eh that’s one of the reason I decided to let it come out you know had to beat him to the punch so to speak). But this made me realize that if you two did start going out it would affect me on some level. But I’m tough and it won’t hurt me that much. Cause I’m believing more and more that I’ll find the HER in college and I hate to even compare anyone I know to the Her cause that has to embarrass the crap out of them and I’m sorry. I like you but hey I can be perfectly happy with just being friends. ( because yes that is part of my belief in love that it is emotional but its also controlled a lot by the brain and my brain says compatibility is the key and you don’t get many ppl that are compatible with a health food eating effeminate non-emotion sharing sometimes downright annoying and strange boy (not man I will never be a man cause I never plan on losing my childhood ) like me. But honestly and this will shock some of the Memphians and I’m sorry Natalie and Morgan for ever thinking this but I think I’m losing my belief in love. Not because of K and N above but I just think maybe I could be happier living by myself with friends cause those who sorta know me know my little soulmate crap and I’ve lost the hope that I’ll find her on earth. I need to do some searching (don’t take this too seriously in about 2 days I’ll call this me an idiot for not being the ME I want to be and go on believing I’m sure).
3. The moving back business (look below) but I honestly haven’t decided yet. I mean I’m playing both sides cause I don’t want to hurt anyone. And by the way this led me to a memory (Emi I’m sorry for all the crap I’ve ever done and I really was at dinner last night I’m wasn’t trying to ignore you and I’m really sorry I couldn’t go to the suessical but the traffic ticket) which leads me to my next point. I’m not going to be able to visit Memphis for a while. You see I decided it’d make my case a lot stronger if I punished myself for the ticket ( the judge would see I’m actually sorry). And so I took away going to Memphis for a week like I had planned. This may seems insulting that I took you away. But I was trying to take the thing away that meant the most to me and was most troublesome money wise for my parents to do. Hopefully things will work out well and I’ll be in Memphis the weekend after the court case but who knows. Whoa I’ve done a lot of venting here I swear I’m actually really happy all the time and this hasn’t been like secretly eating at me cause it has but it hasn’t I mean my happiness is candid not a fake exterior. Um I can’t think of anything else right now but there is more and it will be posted today I swear … here goes nothing time to post … god help me … I’ve destroyed myself …. Please talk to me about this … O and the first Memphian read this please tell the others to. |
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| this one's for a morgasm |
[Jun. 8th, 2004|04:45 pm] |
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HEY everyone been a while and here is what is going down. Fact 1: my formerly mentioned new friends are having a fight. One doesn't really want to be friend with the otehr and while the otehr can be quite .... well utterly racist and overpowering at times she still has a heart ....somewhere. Nextly I regret (nextly ....wtf was I thinking ....is that even a word .... hey andrew I need a little help here ) not being as good a friend as I should be to like everyone ... so for all those reading this IM my lazy !@# and make me be cheerful (I dance for quarters). Um... lol strange choice given to me ... my mom offered to allow me to move back to memphis my senior year. Now I know what you're thinking why would he post this then whereever he lands up the other group will know taht he didn't pick them. Simple my friends,I can't move back. While I like the group of friends I had in memphis better (which stating this fact can get you in real trouble with new friends trust me on this one) and they actually called me... well they pretended to actual call me which is better then pretending to not maybe call me. But the fact of the matter is I weighed out everythign and it comes down to three things my voice teacher in savannah ( the greatest man I've ever known) my school here (lot more lenient and better college counseling) and the fact that my parents would have to live apart (I not only don't want to be the cause of a divorce but I don't want to have to screw up their like total environment just so I can have a little bit more fun with my memphian friends. Lol the only reason I have time to post this is because my friends in savannah don't ever feel like talking to me ... but the thing is I deserve it. I've done this to ppl before and still do it (don't let me ignore you EVER please). And instead of being proactive and forcefully asking for hang out time (which is the most annoying thing that anyone can do sometimes and I just don't want to be that person) I'm just sitting back and enjoying my own medicine extra strength night quill style. O by the way brother + mother + father = with their powers combined the most joy destroying force on the planet. HELP. lol. well I think I'm running out of ideas and periods but I'm going to post soon again because I made a promise I intend to fulfill. And memphians I am going to visit I promise but I have to get this speeding ticket thing figured out first. |
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| I swear this is straight out of a sitcom |
[Feb. 21st, 2004|11:46 pm] |
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Ok... so I wake up this morning with one thought on my mind. Maybe I'll get to spend some time with my new friends today. SOOOO anyways. I begin my usual morning schedule, and I wonder if I should go work out or just forget it today. Well anyways I go to work out and I take my phone with me (just in case my friends call) and I make sure (apparently lol not that well) that its on. So I work out ...find out the that particular gym is wayyyyy too crowded on saturdays so it lasts about 20 minutes. I'm walking out to my car and I see that my phone is OFF so I turn it on thinking nothing of it. Anyhoo I'm driving down the highway back to my house when I think... I should pluck up the nerve to call my new friend and see what's going on. SO... I call and I get the answering service deally. Anyways I go home and take a shower and suddenly BRINGGGGGG my phone tells me I have a voice mail from an hour ago...AND it was my friend AND she wanted to hang BUT it was in that exact 20 minute period that I was in the gym. SO anyways I go into town to make us of the day. Go to a different gym to fulfill my workout and go to the mall. In the mail I meet some of the good friends of my friends ...crazy...ANYHOOs during the course of the day I call about 5 times at about ...an average of hour to two hour intervals to see if my friend is there...she was not...so I leave a message two of the times...Well anyways lol here it is ... heehee I'm such a loser ...but eh I did get a lot done today. New shoes, english homework, theatre 15 monologue.... OH oh and last night lol ..... ok so I needed to go see a show that I was in (Les Mis) but had to quit because of my terrible voice. So anyways I'm there waiting for my friends and they don't appear to show...so I go up in the balcony where my seat is ...think oh no the first time I've been stood-up and decide to just let it all slide and enjoy my theatre friends and their show. SO about ....intermission I meet some of my other friends from school and I'm like HEY. and in looking for a different friend of mine (this is probably really confusing but eh I don't really feel like using names) I see that my friends were there. Lol so I sit with them (stealing this really sweet little boy and his mother's seat ....it was really sad) and finish watching the show con amigos. Anwyays the show ends and I get to say hey to all my theatre friends ... Well anyways it made me really disappointed that I had to quick considering how I won't see a lot of them ever again...OH and on the drive home I pull up to a light and my new friends are two cars infront of me in the lane to my left. I wanted to honk really bad but the guy in front of me was yelling and cussing and I thought that if I honked he might go ...well even more crazy lol...silly crazy man. WHew ...well now that I've fulfilled my loser quotia ... ... yea lol ( and if I told you the whole stories...wow I wouldn't be able to look at myself heehee) so lol lots of love....another story from my past will probably come soon ........I'm going to go to bed now ........whew thats the most I've ever written....that doesn't bode well... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2004|04:42 pm] |
WOW it has been a long time. My new inspiration comes from my new friends Ameri and Keri. Well old ...new ... new old ...friends lol who share my krazzzzy spirit. The weird thing is I finally meet people who are like me ...well again that little group in memphis'll always be remembered... and I can't be myself...well at least not in person. LoL thats what AIM is for. One of these days I'm going to be the me that I am when I'm me. I swear.
Love to All |
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| story number 2 |
[Oct. 5th, 2003|05:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Just Friends-Gavin Degraw | ] |
Well heres a second story about misadventures in love. When I was a wee lad in prekindergarten I had a best friend named (well let us call her A for her innocence). We were literally almost always together. Plus, we were nearly next-door-neighbors. All i had to do was cross one street to get to her house. Well anyways we had this fun game called the kissing game. Basically, her friends and she would chase after me (or me and my friends), trying to kiss me/us. Let us just say that sometimes I would run slower than I could. Anyways (as happens to little kids growing up), one day, my friends brought up the idea that girls were "icky" so on so forth. Well, Anna came over one day to see if I could play, and I yelled no and slammed the door in her face. My mom made me apologize, but after that I always ran my fastest. She moved two weeks later, and I haven't seen her since.
If you're out there A, I'm sorry.
Lots of Love |
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